Path of Sorrow
by nemaara
Summary: She knew it might happen eventually, but still, nothing could have prepared her for when it actually happened. Raven/Robin. Rated M for character death.


Disclaimer: Nothing from Teen Titans is mine

This one has a bit of a different setting than the other ones... it's set a few years in the future from the show's end. The Titans have disbanded and Raven and Robin are living together in Gotham. At least, for a little while...

"Speech"

_Thoughts _

* * *

Their line of work was a dangerous one. Of course it was, but it was especially dangerous to someone like him, with no super powers or any durability beyond that of a normal person.

Which was why she always worried about him.

They took turns with the night patrols, alternating with his aging mentor, him, and her, and every night that he was out, she would stay up, waiting for him to come back, praying nothing would happen.

She always wanted to go with him, to make sure he was safe, but inevitably he refused, saying that it was his duty and besides, if he got some days off when she was out patrolling, she deserved to have some time off too. And since Batman didn't have too many patrols anymore since he was getting older, all the more reason he had to go.

The worst part was, the chaotic emotions of the city people usually interfered with their bond, so she was unable to sense him or his state of mind. Whether he was in danger, or god forbid, something _really _bad had happened to him. Robin was strong, she knew, but he was still just human and anything could happen to him. Ordinary human bodies were all too frail...

Raven stared at the book in her hands, but she did not feel like reading at all. Slouched in the chair in front of the computer in the Batcave, she stared at the clock on a nearby wall, watching the minutes tick by.

_4:00... 4:01... 4:02... _

_He's late. _She bit her lip.

Sometimes he was late. Especially if something came up right as he was supposed to finish his patrol, he could be delayed for quite a while, or in some cases, he wouldn't even come back until dawn broke. Those were rarer, but it as possible.

Still, of course, she worried about him. She didn't like the fact that he wasn't back when he was supposed to be, even if it didn't necessarily mean that something had happened to him. There was always that slight chance that...

Once she had gone out looking for him. As it turned out, he had gotten back almost just as she left, and upon being unable to find her, Robin had begun a panicked search of the whole manor. When she had gotten back, he had yelled at her, telling her that there was no need to worry, that he was fine and she should care about her own safety.

_But how can I not care about him? He saved me. He dragged me out from the pits of hell itself... he was the only one to reach out a hand and try to understand me, even knowing who I was and what I would do... _

Still, she did not want to upset him, so she refrained from searching for him unless it was past dawn.

_4:35... 4:36... 4:37... _

Raven sighed.

Once she had insisted on going with him. And as it had happened, funnily enough, she was the one who got hurt, trying to protect him from some gunfire. She shook her head. Another unpleasant memory.

_Robin stared at the blood dripping down her thighs, cradling her head in his arms. _

_"Maybe you shouldn't come with me. I was fine..."_

_"I thought..." Raven gasped out in pain. _

_"I was fine, Raven. Really, if you're going to be that worried, maybe you should stay at home. There's no reason-"_

_"You could have been hurt!"_

_Robin gritted his teeth. "All of these years and I haven't been beaten once."_

_"There's a first time for everything," she retorted stubbornly, squeezing her eyes shut._

_He looked at her sadly, knowing that arguing with her in her current state was useless. But he would have to have a talk with her later... _

It hadn't stopped her from accompanying him on some patrols, but she didn't go with him every single time. It was a measure of respect for his abilities, but she also knew that her coming along put unnecessary stress on him, so she didn't insist on it.

But on nights like these, when he was late, she regretted not going with him.

_4:53... 4:54... _

It was a dangerous path that they walked. One filled with sorrow, desolation, despair... so much responsibility on their shoulders, so much pain, but they bore it because they had to. There was nobody else to do what they did, to fight the filth and crime of the world. But sometimes, she wished that it wasn't like that. Sometimes, she hoped that everything would be better and she could be sure that he was safe. But life was a chaotic swirl of uncertainty...

Only once had he come back with any serious injuries. Raven pursed her lips, looking down at her hands.

_Robin slid off of his motorcycle and collapsed to the ground. She got up, ran toward him, and was at his side in a moment. He was clutching his side, and as she pried his hand away, she was greeted with the sight of a mass of blood staining his clothing, pouring out onto the ground._

_"Robin," she choked out, stretching a hand toward him._

_"Ra-ven..." he gasped._

_"Don't talk," her voice shook._

_He looked up and saw her eyes glisten. He tried to speak again, to reassure her that he was fine, but his voice would not come out._

_"What happened?" her voice was soft, no more than a whisper._

_"Bo-mb..." he managed to croak out. "Couldn't... disarm it... in time..."_

_The blue glow surrounding her hands intensified and as the minutes ticked by, Robin's labored breathing grew a little easier and the pain receded slightly. Raven got up and returned with a wet towel, wiping the blood away from the wound gently and placing a hand on the raw, reddish skin that showed through his tattered uniform._

_"You're lucky I'm a healer..." she whispered, bowing her head. "You could have been killed... you could have-"_

_He raised a hand to her cheek. "Don't cry. Everything's fine."_

_"Everything's not fine, you idiot! You're hurt..."_

_"It's fine..." he reassured her. _

But she most certainly was not reassured in the least. It showed that he was vulnerable, which of course she knew he was, but there was a difference between knowing he could be hurt and actually seeing him wounded so badly. Just one slip up, and he could die...

_5:16... 5:17... _

_Robin, please. Come back. Be safe. _

Like a signal, a sounding call, her thoughts seemed to echo out. A moment later, right on cue, she heard the roaring sound of a motorcycle engine. She got up quickly and walked over to one of the platforms, where a certain masked hero was taking off his helmet.

They made eye contact.

"You're late..."

"I know. I got held up. Bust didn't go quite as planned and I spent an hour tracking all of them down."

"I thought you might have-"

Robin sighed. "And every time I tell you not to worry. But you don't listen to me."

"You could have been hurt!" she muttered defensively. "I would have had no way of knowing."

"But I wasn't. And you were worrying for nothing. Besides, you should be asleep-"

"I was waiting for you."

"You shouldn't."

"I can't help it."

Robin walked past her. He had long since given up arguing with her. "Is there anything to eat?"

Raven nodded. "I saved you some soup. But it's cold now..."

"That's fine," he sat down and promptly began eating.

The violet haired girl continued staring at him before looking away. _Maybe I'm worrying needlessly. He's always fine, even when he is late. _

_Wait. No, not always. He's still been hurt before..._

_But not often..._

_I don't know what to think. _

"Raven? I'm back now. You should go sleep."

"I'm not tired."

Robin ran a hand through his hair. "It's not good for you to deprive yourself of sleep just because you worry about me."

She pursed her lips. "I'm not tired," she repeated. "I'll sleep later."

"Stubborn child..."

Raven glared at him. "I'm no child."

He smirked, then yawned. "If you say so."

"You're the one who's tired. You should sleep."

"Only if you do."

Raven rolled her eyes. "What a childish way to try to get me to sleep."

He grinned. "Come on, admit it. You're tired too."

"I-" she grimaced. "Fine." And then her voice softened somewhat. "Goodnight, Robin."

"Night," he replied tiredly and closed his eyes.

The violet haired girl frowned slightly. _He's not really just going to sleep in that chair, is he? _She waited a couple minutes, watching him, but when he didn't stir, her suspicions were confirmed. Muttering to herself, she lifted him gently with her powers and carried him upstairs.

She drew the blankets over him, and then slipped him beside him, feeling his warm body press against her own. Closing her eyes, she tried to ignore the tension in her body and relax, clearing her mind. A couple minutes later, sleep took her.

* * *

_4:00... _

He was late again.

She tapped the edge of her book impatiently and stared at the clock. _I shouldn't be worried. He wouldn't want me to worry. __Relax. He's probably... just stuck in traffic or something. Or he's picking up something to eat. He's not hurt. He's fine. I hope he's fine. He better not be hurt... _

_4:10... _

_I'm too impatient... _she knew she was impatient and she did whatever she could to curb that trait, but for some reason, tonight, she could not shake off the strange feeling of danger pervading the air. Something felt distinctly out of place, awful. She wasn't sure what it was, but it sure as hell was making her feel worse than she normally did.

_4:20... _

She flipped open her communicator and hovered over the buttons. Part of her was tempted to call him, but if he was trying to sneak around somewhere undetected, that would cause problems. Or if he was fighting, she didn't want to distract him with the noise. But still, there was that feeling...

_4:30... _

_Maybe I'll look for him. Just for a little bit. Ten minutes, then I'll come back. And I'll take my communicator with me this time so he can call me if he gets back. I... hope I'm just being paranoid. He's probably fine and I'm freaking out about nothing. _

She took a deep breath, trying to rid herself of the unwarranted sense of anxiety and disappeared into a portal of darkness.

* * *

Outside, it was raining. Normally, it was something peaceful, but right now it only added to the growing sense of terror inside her.

She glided quickly from rooftop to rooftop, allowing her powers a little freedom so that she could sense the people in her immediate vicinity. As she thought, there were few people out right now, mostly drunks and vagabonds, who really didn't help the chaos already roiling in her mind.

But no sign of Robin.

It was a large city, so maybe he was somewhere else. It wasn't easy to locate a single individual in the city, even for her, and ten minutes probably wasn't enough for the task.

She flipped open her communicator, biting her lip. _He hasn't called me yet. I've already been out here for fifteen minutes. If he already got back, he'll probably be wondering where I am. But he'll probably do the sensible thing and call me if he can't find me, right? _

She shook her head, feeling her heart pounding abnormally quickly. _Why am I so worried? Why do I feel so... afraid? _Raven clutched her chest, trying to ignore the sound of her heart beating in her ears, but it just would not go away. Danger pervaded the air, flooding into her body, adding on to the tension in her muscles. _Relax. Breathe. Azarath metrion zinthos... _

_Keep moving. _

Again, around the city, she stayed briefly in each location, trying to find Robin. But nothing. Nothing but the rain, dripping through her clothes, chilling her to the bone.

It was cold, unnaturally cold for a day in June, and it did nothing to help her sense of dread. Nor the fact that it was almost completely silent - too quiet for her liking, nor the fact that tonight, the chaos pushing at the barriers of her mind seemed to be stronger than normal. The chaos of the city itself, invading on the sanctity in her head, but also the chaos of her own emotions.

Abruptly, there was a flare of foreign emotion in her head and she looked up, startled.

_Robin! _

It had been too brief to identify what exactly that feeling had been, but she knew, without a doubt, that it was him. _  
_

She focused harder, trying to to open their bond through the storm of sensations swirling around her, through all the demented feelings of the drunks and criminals, all the insanity that plagued the city... she tried to reach him, but his side was unresponsive. He was still there; she could feel him, but he was not reacting to her. Which meant one of two things. Either he was preoccupied, or...

Instantly, she paled and panic flooded through her. _No. That... that's not it. He's just... in a fight. He's... _she clenched her hands into fists. _I have to find him. _

She let the bond guide her, propelling her quickly to where he should have been. At first, it was just a tingle in her mind, but as she drew closer to him, their bond grew warmer and his emotions became more distinct. Clearer.

_Shock. Agony. Despair. _

She gasped as it hit her. _No! _She froze in place, placing a hand over her rapidly beating heart. _He... just saw something bad happen. He's still fine. He's not hurt. _She gritted her teeth. _Move it, Raven! Move! __  
_

Closer and closer, until she was standing atop a building and the bond was like fire in her mind.

_Robin! _

"Raven..."

Her head snapped around at the sound of that voice, that terrifyingly weak voice. She looked down._  
_

And instantly, everything seemed to fade away around her. There was nothing, except for the broken, bleeding body laying on the ground. Her mind was blank; everything felt numb, and she was not even aware of the cold around her anymore, nor the chaos of the city... not aware of anything except for the person laying on the ground in front of her.

She knelt beside him and stretched out a hand.

"Don't... bother..."

"I have to try," she said breathlessly. "You're still alive. I can save you. I can-" and then she faltered, realizing the extent of the damage done to him.

_No... _"No," she whispered, clenching her hand into a fist. _Three internal organs ruptured... four arteries severed, both lungs punctured... no... _she steeled herself. "I have to try."

A blue glow surrounded him, but even as she applied her powers to him, he removed his mask and she could see the light begin to fade from his eyes.

"No, _please!_" she breathed harshly, "you're the only thing that matters to me. Please, let me trade my own life for yours."

But her powers would not allow it, and she was faced with that awful... awfully certain fact that he was dying.

He smiled, very slightly and reached a hand up. "Don't cry. Please don't cry. You always look so sad when you do."

"You... _idiot!_" her voice shook, and all the emotion that she had repressed for years, for all of her life, poured out into that single word. "I should have been the one... not you..."

"Don't talk like that," he murmured. "Raven..."

She covered her face in shame, trying to hide her emotions from him, but when that failed, she pressed her face to his chest and drew a deep, shuddering breath. Above them, black energy crackled through the clouds like lightning, but she paid it no heed, unable to repress all of the pent up emotion built up in her heart.

"Raven," he said quietly, putting a hand on her back. "Don't cry. Please, Raven. You... have to move on."

She raised her head and her eyes were red. Even with the rain, it was distinctly obvious that she was crying, and her normally smooth face had contorted into one filled with grief, and irreparable loss.

"Robin, I- Robin!"

His eyes closed and his breathing grew yet more shallow. Her eyes burned fiercely and she summoned all of her power, everything she could muster, into healing him, but his heartbeat began to slow and there was nothing she could do to stop it.

In the rhythm of the falling rain, his life faded away and the overwhelming darkness closed in.

His mouth moved one more time, almost imperceptibly, but she caught the word, the last breath.

He died with her name on his lips.

She held him tightly, crying quietly in the falling rain. He was gone, slipped right through her fingers, fallen into the realm of death which eventually claimed the lives of all mortals, but not those still healthy, still young...

She cried, because fate seemed to hate her. It had cursed her all her life, and now it had taken the one she loved from her, and no matter how she fought it, it always came back to haunt her in the end.

It was not the noisy sobbing that indicated the depth of her emotion... she was used to forcing everything back, and even the smallest show of that despair was, in her mind, something already reached the point of overwhelming depression. But she was used to bearing it in silence, and so the tears flowed down silently, mingling with the rain as her mind still struggled to comprehend the enormity of the fact that _Robin was gone. _

He had asked her to move on, but there was no way in hell she could possibly do that. It was a wound that could not heal, a memory that could not be forgotten. _Robin_ was something so firmly imprinted in her being that it was as if he was a part of her, the other half of her being, and now he had left. And she was alone. Alone... desolate, again. Abandoned... broken.

Her eyes darted around and she saw a knife, a bloody knife, and she grabbed for it, holding it above her wrist for a moment.

The dulled blade gleamed back at her and she froze, her breath catching in her throat. And then she pressed down, feeling it cut into her skin lightly. But not enough.

With a furious gasp, she threw it aside and clutched at Robin again.

He was gone, and she would have to bear it for the rest of her life. Just another thing life had thrown at her that she would have to deal with, but then, not _just _another thing. The worst thing that the universe could have possibly hurt her with, but she would have to bear it. Like everything else.

She closed her eyes. _So this is my fate. To lose everything precious to me. To toil on, in spite of all the cursed, wretched things life has thrown at me. _She smiled, very bitterly, then heaved a sigh. And continued to hold him. Unable to let go...

But she was alone. Left to fight alone, to walk alone, along the path of sorrow...


End file.
